MY FEELING HOW WASN’T VERY GOOD… MANY THINGS HAVE HAPPEN…AM I CANNOT BT TRUSTED?? I AM TRYING TO LIVE MUCH MORE SIMPLE LIFE …BUT I WAS WRONG… INSTEAD I LIVE IN MISERABLE AND PAIN… I WASN’T HAPPY AT ALL… I TRY TO THINK IN A SIMPLE WAY BUT I COULD NOT… WAT AM I GOING TO DO?? I REALLY DON’T KNOW AND I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO NEXT… I AM REALLY VERY SAD…


FAMILY SHOULD SUPPORT WHAT WE WANT TO DO RIGHT?? BUT MY FAMILY IS TOTALLY DIFFERENT… I DO NOT TALK TO THEM AND I FIND THAT I DON’T THINK THEY ARE THE RIGHT PERSON TO TALK TO…MY MUM ALWAYS THINK THAT I WASN’T REALLY BETTER THEN MY OLDER SISTER.. YES … I ADMIT… BUT WHY THEY WANT TO TREAT ME LIKE THAT?? IS IT BECAUSE I AM IN “NA” CLASS?? Y MUST I BEING LOOK DOWN BY THEM?? THESE REALLY MAKE ME SAD…I TOLD MYSELF NOT TO BLAME THEM BECOX THEY ARE MY FAMILY MAHZ… BUT THEY ALWAYS THINK ABOUT THEMSELVES…MY MUM ALWAYS SAYS ME... THEN WHEN MY SISTER BLAME ME THEN SHE WILL THINK IS MY FAULT…


THE STORY STARTED…. I AM NOT COPYING ANYONE STYLE… SO DON’T EVER THINK IN THAT WAY… IT IS MAINLY BECAUSE I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO SAY … IT BEGINS…. I ASK MY MUM FOR MONEY TO PAY FOR MY BUS EXPENSES… AM I WRONG??? WHO DON’T TAKE FROM PARENT…? IF I CARRY ON WORKING I WOULD SURELY WONT TAKE FROM MY PARENT... BUT I HAVE QUIT WORKING AFTER DECEMBER HOLIDAY AS I AM TAKING MY O LEVEL THIS YEAR…MY SISTER WAS INSIDE MY ROOM WHILE I WAS AT THE LIVING ROOM AND MY MUM WAS IN HER ROOM TOO… I SHOUTED WHAT I WANT TO SAY AND THE PERSON REPLIED WASN’T MY MUM… INSTEAD … IT WAS MY SISTER… SHE SHOUTED BACK…”U CANT PAY YOURSELF ARR??” …WHEN SOMEONE YOU NOT TALKING TO REPLY… HOW WOULD YOU FEEL?? OF COURSE YOU WILL GET ANGRY RIGHT… OF COURSE… I DID SHOUT BACK…BUT WHAT I DIDN’T THINK OF IS MY MUM STARTED BLAMING ME THIS AND THAT…


SHE SAID “YOU GOT WORK RIGHT??” FINE!!!! I AM SO ANGRY AND I SHOUTED AT HER BACK SAYING “I GOT WORK SO WHAT?? WONT I FINISH SPENDING?? I GOT TO PAY THIS PAY THAT...”DEN SHE SAID … “YOUR KOR AND JIE WASN’T LIKE THAT…WHEN THEY SECONDARY SCHOOL … THEY DOES NOT ASK ME FOR MONEY TO BUY THING…” (ITS DOES NOT COUNT IN BUS EXPENSES AS MY BROTHER WALKS TO SCHOOL…) I WAS REALLY VERY ANGRY AND I SAID HER…” MY N LEVEL FEES WAS I PAID ONE DEN O LEVEL FEES MUST I PAY AGAIN... KOR THAT TIME IS YOU PAY ONE THEN HOW COME YOU WANT ME TO PAY???” WHEN PAYING N LEVEL FEES I DIDN’T SAY MUCH BUT MY MUM KEEP MUMBLING AT ME… IF SOMEONE KEEPS MUMBLING INFRONT OF YOU… HOW WOULD YOU FEEL???


ANOTHER MATTER IS… MY MUM KEEPS FORCING TO GO BACK TO WORK ON SAT AND SUN… I SCOLDED HER… I ASKED HER WHY SHE KEEPS WANTED ME TO GO BACK TO WORK. I NOW HAVING MY O LEVELS DEN SHE KEEP SAYING ME N PUSHING ME… I AM NOW HAVING AN IMPORTANT EXAM DEN I WHERE GOT TIME FOR WORK??? I FIND THAT MY PARENT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT I WANT AND THEY DOES NOT UNDERSTAND ME AT ALL!!! AM I TO BLAME??? AM I TO BE SCOLDED??? EVEN A TAXI UNCLE KNOWS WHAT IS RIGHT BUT MY PARENT?? THEY KNOW NOTHING!!! MY BROTHER WHEN TAKING O LEVEL… HE DIDN’T WORK AT ALL … THEN MY MUM DID NOT SAY ANYTHING… BUT WHEN IT REACHES ME… I KEEP GETTING THE BLAME AND SCOLDING... I REALLY DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO… THIS MAKES ME STRESS!!! I WANTED TO CRY BUT I TOLD MYSELF THAT I AM OLD ENOUGH … AND THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUT ME TOO… BUT WHEN WILL THIS KNOT BE LOOSENING... I AM NOT TALKING TO THEM ALWAYS... AS I FIND THAT TALKING TO THEM WILL WASTE TIME… AS THEY DON’T HAVE TIME TO LISTEN TO WHAT I SAY… I AM LONELY IN THIS WORLD… ALL THESE THINGS WILL KEEP IN MY HEART AND SOME OF MY PART OF EXPERIENCE WILL BE IN THIS BLOG…I WILL NOT CONFRONT TO ANYONE…


MAYBE WHAT I SAY MAY BE RUBBISH TO ANYONE… BUT THANKS ANYWAY… SOMEONE SAID THAT I WILL NOT WALK ALONE… I WILL TRY IT!!! AS THE ENTIRE PAST SITUATION HAS CHANGED… TOTALLY CHANGE… IT IS NOT LIKE LAST TIME ANYMORE…AND MY PAST HAVE BEEN BROKEN INTO PIECES… MAYBE HOW YOU LOOK AT ME IS DIFFERENT FROM WHAT I WROTE NOW… BUT WHAT IS FACT IS FACTS… SORRY ABOUT IT….